How to Be a Likable Coworker
If you want to succeed at work, likability matters. No one wants to work with a grouch or a pest or a whiner. And no one likes to deal with jerks at work. So the question is: How can you become likable if likability doesn’t come naturally to you—or even if it does?
Being likable is a matter of doing things like displaying a positive attitude, having a sense of humor, offering an occasional compliment, expressing empathy, assuming the best in others (at least until proven otherwise), and listening. To be really likable, this Careerealism article suggests that in addition to listening, you also acknowledge what was said and add something of value.
An occasional smile can’t hurt, either. People who smile regularly are often seen as likable even if they fall short in other ways. Of course, this assumes the smile is genuine, not a smile used to be polite or, worse, devious. It’s not always easy to tell the difference. But if you smile often and spontaneously, you’ll tend to be seen as likable. In some interesting research, experimenters found, to their surprise, that people playing a game preferred genuinely smiling opponents, even when it meant the test subjects would have a lower chance of winning.
Of course, in the workplace, a key to likability is being a team player. That means doing your job competently, lending a hand to teammates, being approachable and responsive, sharing what you know, and putting the team ahead of me-me-me. A team player works well with teammates, is willing to compromise, helps the team solve problems, and communicates openly and honestly.
More than anything, I think the key to being likable is to avoid being unlikable, such as by being unreliable, resentful, negative, self-centered, or uncommunicative. If you’re determined to be unlikable, any one of these qualities will do the trick.
By the way, if you work with someone you find unlikable, it may be that you need to spend more time with the person. At least, that’s what we might glean from the mere-exposure effect, also known as the familiarity principle. Studies have suggested that the more often a person is seen by someone, the more likable that person appears to be. I suppose that’s because the more time you spend together, the more you learn about the person and the more accepting you become. I’m not so sure this would work with people I’ve disliked. What’s your experience?
