When Is Expressing Emotions at Work Acceptable?
One of the talking points about Steve Ballmar’s farewell at Microsoft was his getting emotional while addressing the audience one last time. He was so emotional that he sobbed most of the time on stage while at the same time exhibiting extraordinary energy. Ballmar's act on the stage was received with mixed responses, but it opened up a debate: To what extent is expressing emotions at work acceptable?
One of the reasons people may demonstrate extreme emotions at work is to display passion for a cause. In his recent Harvard Business Review article, Peter Bregman talks about tennis star Rafael Nadal. After winning the 2013 US Open, Nadal fell to the ground with his back on the court, covered his face with his hands, and started sobbing.
Bregman argues that Nadal's emotional gesture represented a case of a professional who displayed extreme passion for hours on the court before he won. His reaction after winning was more akin to that of a person who had put his whole self into something before getting the desired results.
There could be other reasons why employees may cry at work, but as Bregman in his Harvard Business Review study argues, the energy that Nadal exhibited on the court and his subsequent reaction is rarely seen in today's workplaces. In other words, we don’t usually see success celebrated with much emotional fervor at work.
Each individual who goes to work has his own source of motivation. It could be earning money, supporting a lifestyle, making a difference, or something else. The extent of our motivation, among other factors, usually defines the boundaries of our contribution at work—and that’s probably the reason why not all people love what they do for a living.
Another reason we don’t see Nadal-like emotional responses after achieving something at work is the lack of alignment with the organization's goals and the subsequent lack of engagement. Nadal had his sights on the US Open as a single reference point in his life. But the majority of employees—especially in large organizations—play defined and specific roles and don’t always know how they contribute to the organization's bottom line. This might explain the detachment or the lack of immersion in the cause.
Authenticity is talked about as a competency among today’s organizations. Simply put, authenticity means being honest with yourself and others and sharing thoughts justly. Ironically, embracing authenticity comes in shades of gray as people tend to embrace authenticity not fully but carefully. When it comes to displaying emotions emanating from passion, people know that it could be perceived as a sign of vulnerability—and most people don’t tread that path.
We are all humans before we are developers, testers, or project managers. Everyone needs to achieve results to thrive, but wouldn’t it be great if while doing so we remain humans with compassion? We might risk being vulnerable, but that would be just showing our closer-to-true self.
