Why We Often Ignore Good Advice
It’s not as if there aren’t plenty of people around us with advice we could benefit from. OK, maybe not plenty of people, but at least a few whose wisdom could help us with our daily work and life problems. Yet, we often ignore their advice. In fact, sometimes, it’s when we need the advice the most that we latch onto our old beliefs and hold on tight. If the advice doesn’t fit our worldview, we reject the advice while rationalizing our way to keeping our current views strong.
One possible reason for this reaction is that it’s not the advice per se that persuades us as much as the person who gives the advice. If we hold the giver of advice in high esteem, we’ll pay attention; if we think little of the person, we’ll discount whatever the person says. And that could be a mistake. Strictly speaking, we should consider advice on its merits and its relevance to our situation, not based on whether we like or dislike the messenger.
Sometimes we may feel that if we take advice, it’s a sign that we didn’t know how to handle the situation. It’s bad enough not to know, but admitting it—and making it obvious to advice-givers by accepting their advice—is something else altogether. Fortunate are they who can admit to not knowing; they’re the ones who willingly seek wisdom everywhere and soon know what they previously didn’t.
Our mood and our level of anxiety can also affect how willing we are to heed advice. When we feel good, we’re more likely to be open to listening to others. Similarly, it’s hardly surprising that a sense of trust in and respect for others makes us more open to considering their views.
And then there are cognitive biases, those distortions in judgment that sometimes cause us to do the opposite of what’s good for us. Of the long list of cognitive biases, the biggest contributor to rejecting advice may be the confirmation bias. That’s the tendency to be receptive to information that supports the views we already have and to ignore or dismiss information that contradicts those views. If you’re human, you’ve fallen victim to this bias. I see it all around me in others. I’m sure I’m guilty of it at least as often.
Of course, none of this means you should blithely accept all advice, or even consider all of it. Sometimes, the advice is good for someone, just not you. It’s important to ask yourself if the advice is appropriate for you, your work, your relationships, and so on, and whether it can be tailored to fit your particular circumstances. That certainly applies to the advice in this article.
