Do You Understand the Risk of Yes/No Questions?
After giving a colleague some logistical details he needed to take care of a project we were working on, I asked, “Are we in sync?” He said yes.
Moments later, as if with a thwack on the head, I realized what a foolish question that was. After all, if he had said no, I'd know to explain further. But a “yes” answer could mean he truly did understand or he didn't understand but thought he did. It could also mean he understood something else altogether. It could even mean he understood what I said, but what I said wasn't what I'd meant to say. And I had no way of knowing which was the case.
I asked him if he realized how ineffective my question was about whether we were in sync. He said no—which was annoying, because once the futility of yes/no questions became obvious to me, I couldn't understand how he could fail to understand. At the same time, if he'd said yes, I'd have set the stage for another thwack by asking a yes/no question.
I asked him what his understanding was of the project details we'd discussed. In relating it, he missed a key point that could have thrown our schedule into chaos. Here was proof—not that I needed it at this point—that accepting a “yes” response to a yes/no question is risky.
Language is ambiguous in the best of cases; even if every word had only a single meaning, there's no guarantee all parties share that understanding. Sometimes, seemingly simple misunderstandings can have colossal consequences. The risk of miscommunication is one reason service-level agreements are put in writing.
But of course, you can't put every spoken statement into writing. And it can be awkward to ask, “What did you just hear me say?” or “Can you repeat what I said?” or “Are you sure you understand?” Still, if the consequences of a misunderstanding could be serious, or even just inconvenient, it's worth seeking clarification—and doing so in a way that avoids a yes/no response. You could say something like, “Let's make sure I said what I intended to say. Could you play back to me what you heard?” Or just agree to end key interactions with each participant stating what he or she agreed to do.
This idea of clarification applies as well when you're on the receiving end of a yes/no question. If your answer to a question like “Are we in sync?” is no, fine (though ideally you wouldn't wait to be asked before seeking additional information). But if it's yes, go beyond the monosyllable and state what your understanding is. That gives everyone involved the chance to ensure an actual understanding rather than just an apparent understanding, and it spares all of you frustration later.
