The Downside of Certainty
It's when you're most certain that you understand a situation that you're most likely to have misunderstood it. Actually, I'm not certain that's true, though it’s likely to be true of know-it-alls.
Certainty can certainly be dangerous when it leads you to know—to positively know—what others mean by what they say. Even though we, as humans, crave certainty, exhibiting it can cross that fine line between confidence and arrogance.
For example, here's a situation I read about. The parents of a young child with a complex medical condition had the child admitted to a hospital to be treated. But the treatment had barely begun when the parents complained that they didn't want their daughter cared for by the student doctor assigned to the case.
Upon hearing this complaint, the doctor told the parents he understood that they might feel uncomfortable with a student doctor, but several medical specialists would be caring for the child. He reminded the parents that this was a teaching hospital and this is how physicians are trained. He emphasized that this was how he himself learned to take care of patients like their daughter.
This was a case study of certainty in action. This doctor knew without a moment’s doubt that the parents' complaint concerned the student doctor’s skill level. But he was wrong, and in being wrong, his response further upset people who were already stressed.
This doctor may have had other patients and family members who were concerned about teaching hospitals, and such past experience would have fed his certainty and strengthened it. But that's exactly what happens: you're positive you understood, so you don't ask questions. Plus, when you're talking, you're not listening.
This doctor would have benefited by taking an extra nanosecond to ask himself how sure he was that he understood the parents' concern. But even if he was certain that he was certain, it wouldn't have hurt to seek additional information. For example, in response to the parents' complaint, he might have asked, “What do you mean?” or “What is it about the student doctor that upsets you?” Or he could have simply said, “I don't understand.” Any of these responses would have prompted the parents to clarify their complaint.
Their complaint, which they finally had the opportunity to explain, wasn't with student doctors in general; it was with the specific student doctor assigned to the case. His attitude worried them and they wanted him removed from the case. Whether this was a valid request or not, their explanation (which a simple “I don't understand” would have generated) enabled the doctor to respond based on the actual issue rather than the one he was certain was the issue.
There's no way to know if the doctor learned from this experience, but we can learn from it. In particular, if in doubt, seek additional information. And if certain, seek additional information. That way, your understanding is more likely to be correct.
