It’s a New Year, and It’s Time to Face Your Fears
Wouldn’t it be a huge relief to get rid of those fears that hold you back? We’re susceptible to so many: the fear of rejection, of asking for a raise, of moving to a faraway town, and many others, including the fear of flying, falling, failing, or flubbing.
Of course, fear is a normal human emotion, and it can protect us from danger. Many people, though, have fears that are full-fledged phobias, such as the fear of speaking in public. Still, although the claim is often made that many people would rather die than speak in public, I’m certain that if these people were taken to the edge of a cliff and ordered to jump or speak, most would make the right choice. This phobia, by the way, is called glossophobia, so if you’re subject to it, you can now sound sophisticated in talking about it.
It’s reassuring, in a way, to see lists of people’s worst fears, because you can see all the fears you don’t have. Still, whatever yours are, ignoring them won’t make them disappear. The way to face them is to do just that: confront them and (ideally) discover that they’re not as bad as you imagined and that you can survive them. Virtual-reality scenarios that present fears in various contexts until your brain learns to dismiss them are one way to extinguish the fear response.
But because you’re unlikely to be invited to a virtual reality lab any time soon, a more practical approach is to start by identifying one of your fears. It doesn’t have to be your worst fear, just one you’d like to be rid of. Acknowledge the fear and how it affects you, and set a goal to overcome it. Plan how you’ll face the fear, taking one small step at a time. Figure out what’s the worst that can happen with each step and how you’ll handle it. If appropriate, rehearse facing the fear with a trusted friend or colleague.
For example, if you fear asking your boss for a raise, you can write out a word-for-word script, get feedback from peers or mentors to ensure you addressed key points, practice delivering it until your sound strong and confident, and role play with a friend the actual meeting with your boss.
Instead of making the same old New Year’s resolutions as everyone else and then abandoning them before the end of January, maybe the perfect resolution this year would be to tackle one of your greatest fears. Happy New Year!
