Stressed Out? Pay Attention to Your Warning Signs
One of the benefits of accumulating birthdays is that you are usually less prone to getting overwhelmed by life’s little difficulties. (Have you ever observed a 3-year-old who couldn’t find his favorite blanket at naptime?) With experience, most of us learn coping skills to get us through and help us sort out what is important from what isn’t.
What can be more insidious is when things are going pretty well, but the chaos is slowly building. It can be like design debt on the system of your life. Things are going great, but you are consistently getting only five or six hours of sleep. You know you should be eating better, but there’s no time for that. One of your friends is going through a tough patch and needs more of your time and attention, which you are happy to give, but it jams you up a little.
Sometimes I find myself getting overextended before I become consciously aware of it, particularly when things are going well. It’s like running down a steep hill and accidentally getting my center of gravity too far ahead of my feet. At that point, there is going to be a crash—the question is just when and how much it will hurt. Unfortunately, our natural tendency is to run faster, trying to catch up with our center of gravity. This will only make the wreck worse.
I find that there are signs in my life—like little “tells” at a poker table—when I’m getting overextended. If I pay attention to them, I can usually tap the brakes before things get out of control. Here are some tells I’ve found for myself:
- I schedule breakfast meetings but fail to write them on my calendar, so I accidentally stand up friends or clients
- I send to-do reminders to myself in an email, but I have so little time to triage email that I miss my notes
- My travel reservations get made late, meaning they are more expensive and poorer quality flights
- I sacrifice time with the people I care about the most (wife, children, grandchildren, friends) because I’m trying to catch up
- I get impatient about stupid things that aren’t worth the trouble, like waiting for food in a restaurant
We all have patterns we exhibit when stressed. In the last week I missed a breakfast date and failed to deliver a document I had promised (despite sending myself reminders), so I’m doing a priority check before my little mistakes snowball. Are you aware of the things that indicate you need to adjust your schedule or priorities?
